What lays behind beauty...

Freidrich Nietzsche said once :

« There are no beautiful surfaces  without without a terrible depth. »

As much as this quote seem to be vague, I feel like writing about it. Nietzsche’s philosophy is intreaging and personnaly whenever I have the chance to read his quotes, I just start questionning everything. And here I am, a beautiful surface I may seem, energetic, powerful, creative. How would you judge such personnality traits. Perfect ? We’ll come back to that later in my essay.

We are actually composed of every road chosen, every step taken, every person met, every thought held, every dream fathomed. All of which make the surfaces we have. Thus I mean we mold our own beautiful surfaces and burry in the depth our darkness, our sufferance.

For instance, behind the innocent smile of a little girl lays back a dark story of how miserable her life is and how unfair it has been to her. Eveyrhting beautiful implies that something is not.  Nature is beautiful though what is not ? What do we not spot ? The most dangerous animal in the world ?The responsible of millions of death every year ? That animal disguised as a human ? I bet that’s not beautiful. 

Let’s see the quote from another angle. Love is beautiful. I want to know what in this life compels us to searsh for love. This quest seems to be mandatory for a happy life. Even though living always leads to dying, doesn’t it ? Those feeling, those emotions all together roots to risking calamity, heart-break, pain, sorrow etc. We STILL want it. It catches us despite the sleepless nights, the disappointments, the heartache, the expectations which doesn’t seem all beautiful. Now, what I’m saying here, love is an iceberg, beautiful on top, still it may be rooted towards awfulness. It’s beautiful and yet terrible.

Now who am I ? How do I look like ? Beautiful. Thank you, I know. I have many qualities to be proud of (not to show off) .

I have failed in this life, got what I deserved out of everything I touched. I have suffered so much and yet loved in ways epic love stories are composed. I love loud rock music and yet slow depressing ones. I’m an idealist. I make the wrong decisions rooting to magnificent experiences.

Being over protective, I dwell in silence that is like a warm breeze, a raging ocean pushing me to its depths. The traffic jam of words in my head, I can hold it. I’m aware the world already has enough to deal with. 

I am not sorry for what I am, what I am the complete sum of all my overwhelming thoughts yet I awake everyday fresh as daisy.

Though, I am selfish. That’s not beautiful. It results in taking always wrong decisions rooting to somewhere. Selfish is not beautiful. There’s no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons that I am wrong as well as not beautiful.

However in the end, beautiful or not beautiful, I choose to be.

How will people remember me, and nature and love ? Beautiful ? Black spot ? That’s the question…